What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
