As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
