The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
