Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
