I'm so fucking centered right now
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
