The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize