My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
