I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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