your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
