so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
