Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
