This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
