Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
