Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
