We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
