the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
