How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
