i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
