brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
