so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
