Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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