At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
