Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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