In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
