What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize