It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
