well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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