i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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