Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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