He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
pop tarts are not kleenex
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
