I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I could make wine with my vomit
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize