Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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