I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
