I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
