OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you would pick up someone in the library
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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