My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
