dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
