theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
