It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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