At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
