she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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