At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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