you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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