Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize