It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
