I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
