Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
