Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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