woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
