Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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