i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
