How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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