Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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