Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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