My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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